The Internalized Oppression of a “Pick me girl”

    This week when reading the Kendi excerpt, Kendi recounts a speech he gave filled with internalized oppression. Generally, when people think of internalized oppression it refers to negative beliefs about oneself. However, Kendi was describing negative thoughts about people of his own race, excluding himself. Despite the fact that he was living proof not all African-American youths prize athletic ability over intelligence, he still believed these racist stereotypes about his own people. Another example of this type of type of internalized oppression, is the idea of the “pick me girl”.

    The “pick me girl” is an expression coined by social media that describes women who seek to put down other women in order to make themselves more desirable to men. Similarly to Kendi, they distance themselves from other females and further perpetuate sexist stereotypes. They are often known to describe themselves as “quirky”, or say things like “I’m not like other girls”.  While these may seem like harmless descriptions of someone wishing to break social norms, they actually end up belittling other women. These comments, particularly “I’m not like other girls”, insinuates that women who act differently from them are inferior.

One example of this mindset is the song You Belong With Me, by Taylor Swift. Throughout the song Taylor describes a female antagonist who is more traditionally feminine, such as wearing makeup and skirts. Whereas, Taylor describes herself as the exact opposite, preferring t-shirts and sneakers. The song essentially claims that because the protagonist, Taylor, is different from conventional social norms for women, she’s more unique and overall a better woman. Furthermore, because of those reasons she also deserves the love interest the song is directed to. 

By making fun of other girls who chose to conform to gender expectations, these types of girls are contributing to the oppression of all females. How you dress and what you like or dislike doesn’t define you or your personality. While being different and stepping out of the box is definitely not a bad thing, looking down on others for choosing not to, most certainly is. Women are already looked down upon and seen as lesser than by many men, women don’t need to be doing it to one another as well.